keep me in your heart for a while

When my brother was born, my parents asked my Dad's mother what she wanted to be called. Nana, Grandma, Gramps -- the choice was hers. She decided she was much too young (50) for any of these names, and he and all future grandchildren could call her 'G.'

Whenever I got in trouble and was mad at my parents for yelling at me, I'd tell my parents (lisp and all), "I'm going to live with G becauthe she loves me.'

I went away with her just about every summer until I was 13 or so. Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, just staying at her place on Long Island -- anything I wanted to do we would do. I was five when she asked if I wanted to go to Florida to see 'GG' (her mother), and I immediately said 'yeth,' ran off, and returned 5 minutes later with a fully packed suitcase.

Whenever she traveled to far away lands (China! Egypt! Japan! Italy!), she returned with souveniers for us, and they fascinated us. I remember being obsessed with a blue scarab she brought back for me from Egypt. It was shiny and just this incredibly bright blue. I fawned over it constantly, and kept it in my pocket for months.

We were in Montauk for a long weekend once and I found a conch (living, though I did not know it at the time) on the beach. She allowed me to take it in the car all the way home to upstate NY, where it was determined it was not a good idea for it to be away from the ocean. The smell was terrible. But for a boy who had recently read Lord of the Flies, this was golden!!

As I got older, I saw less and less of G. Whenever she visited she would come to whatever event my brother or I had going on -- track meets or graduation, she was there, and she was beaming. She loved that she was involved in our lives, and treasured all the photos she could go home with to boast about us to her friends. When I was hired at my current place of employment, she told all her friends immediately. Her grandson was working at ____ and loved it, and isn't that terrific?
It was hard to find a bigger cheerleader of my life than G.

And she was always giving -- she always asked if I ever needed anything. She would occasionally send Omaha steaks to make sure I had good meat to eat, and I never had to ask for anything. I said no many times, because I did not need many things and was doing alright supporting myself.
She loved to give, and I never truly realized the pleasure it brought her to give to myself, my brother, and my cousin until a few days ago.

G moved to Texas on her own about ten years ago. At first she was lonely, but then she began volunteering for various organizations. Ronald McDonald House, the Dallas Zoo, the botanical garden, other animal societies -- she did it all, and she loved every minute of it. She was busy from morning to night, and she loved it. I saw her calendar Saturday night, and every page of it was full. There was no stopping her from being as active as she loved.

When I left home, I still called G every few weeks to update her on my life and see how she was doing. And every time I called, she would tell my parents everything I told her, because she was that happy she knew what and how I was doing. And every story I told, she had one that not only compared, but was better. If I went to Vegas once, she was there five times. If I was going on a road trip for a week, she was traveling the midwest for two months. If I was going to Amsterdam, she had done all of Europe.

The family used to joke that G could talk a lot. She could go non-stop, story leading into tangent to another tangent back to the first story to more tangents and so on and so forth. And there was no stopping her once she got going. No way, no how. You had to wait until the entire epic was complete.

G had a heart attack last Wednesday and a friend brought her to the hospital. She called my Dad afterwards to tell him. My Mom called me Thursday to tell me, and to say they did not know exactly how severe it was or what was going on. My Mom gave me the hospital room contact info, but I could not get through and left a message on G's voicemail of her cell. I spoke to my Mom again Friday, and she said they were flying out that day and the doctor had told my Dad the family should be there. All three of G's children, and all three grandchildren were there by Saturday, and we were all in one room for the first time in about 7 years. And she loved it. And that day was great. She was grinning ear to ear when I walked in, and said 'my baby' when I walked over to her bedside to kiss her hello. With the arrival of my brother and I, the entire family was now completely in that one little room.

I would find out later that night G's condition was deteriorating, and she was not out of the woods yet. The best we could do was hope, and for those of us with the inclination, to pray.

Most of the family was by her side the next day when it finally happened. I don't know many people who have a heart attack that kills 20% of the heart and then live another four days, but G is one of them. She was not going to leave us without having the entire family together one last time, and she was determined to get what she wanted. The epic of her life was not complete, and there was no way anyone was writing that last page other than her.






To G, who lived more in 77 years than anyone I will ever know.

this was started Sunday, so it is a bit old in the beginning

I am proud to live in a country that can blatantly violate the terms of the Geneva Convention. If there is one thing this administration will be remembered for, it is
oh who am I kidding, this administration will be remembered for tons of things!! I was telling a friend Saturday if I ever have kids, I want to read their history textbook to see what viewed perspective of the Bush administration they give.

The best thing to happen for the Dems in this election is for Bush to campaign with McCain. More.of.the.same.
Of Course, Hellary is doing her best to make sure Obama doesn't get elected

Ok so after writing all that we all know what happened with Spitzer blah blah ok over it. On the same day 7 more soldiers were killed in Iraq and the day before the President refused to outlaw torture. Sex scandals > Human Lives






My hoodie hasn't been washed yet and still smells...

Han shot first

Cosmo Magazine has a whole section on the best places to meet a guy (I was directed to this section by another blog, I don't regularly read Cosmo). Number 1 on the list? An Apple Store.
Sayeth Cosmo: "Most guys are natural gadget lovers, and with sales of iPods and MacBooks skyrocketing, more men than ever are stopping by Apple boutiques. The vibe at the stores is conducive to man meeting too: You can check your email among cuties, take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting (a great opportunity to strike up a conversation), or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise."

Sure it's not a sci-fi convention or comic-con or anything like that, but talk about the geeks inheriting the Earth. Although it's all fake-geek, not Freaks n Geeks geek.
Not that I'm headed straight for the Apple store, but goddamn. I never thought I'd ever see the day when one of the number 1 women's magazines was telling them to head to geek central and land a man.



Maybe I should plant myself into various video classes so I can "help them."

if there's a housing crisis in the n anymore

the tent so big in your pants baby
I would gladly share the tent in my pants with Peaches, but I would prefer her ex-roommate Feist.


Our President will now exit office after having presided over one of the biggest financial tumbles in recent US history. There is definitely more damage to come, and there is no silver lining in sight.


I have finally purchased a receiver (and speakers), which means I no longer have to connect my record player to a guitar amp. Although I don't know how Metal Machine Music is going to sound in surround sound. I am excited to find out, though.
Although setting up the receiver has been a bit difficult, what with all the different connections I have going on. And considering what I do, this should not be a problem for me.

I want to go to a good old fashioned rock 'n roll show. Not the standard NYC everyone stands around, arms crossed. I want to go see Of Montreal for the 11th or 12th time and dance dance the night away. Or to a Flogging Molly show and dance/skank. Say what you will about that band, their fans love to get-down.

Durex did a survey and found Americans rank behind Canadians and Brits when it comes to frequency of sex.
Dear America,
This is one thing we should at least try and be best at. Our economy is tanking, the dollar is worth less and less every day, at least let's show the world we may not give a fuck, but we do love to fuck.
I still don't understand this country's awkwardness when it comes to sex, and I grew up here! I mean, yeah I get a little shy when shopping in certain stores, but at least I am open-to-new-things.
I am (and most people I know are) in the best of moods when getting laid on a regular basis. Plus its good exercise.

Like today, I thought about joining a gym. I didn't, but at least I thought about it. If I was having more regular sex, the thought would not have even crossed my mind.


I want to write a book about the economy of sex. I could go on Oprah and hawk it.