Monday, July 7, 2008

mirror in the bathroom

I do not own a mirror. There is one on the medicine cabinet in my bathroom that shows my upper torso up to my face, but aside from that I do not have one.
I went clothes shopping today. Normally I do not try things on until I get home, but this particular store offers free tailoring. Not one to pass up anything free, I figured I'd give it a go with the shirts and pants I had picked out.

Well, when I got into the dressing room and slipped off my shirt, I was in for a slight surprise. The body I remember having was not the one smiling back from the mirror. This.was.shocking.
Not that I'm fat, but my stomach is starting to resemble more of a belly, which is something I just will not allow.
So as soon as I got home I put on the Wii Fit and did a 45 minute workout. I refuse to become what I've always hated!!

But yes, it was slightly shocking. Last time I saw my stomach (emphasis on stomach) I had some semblance of abs. I had no idea how bad it had gotten.
But it's not going to last. I'm much too vain to allow for that.



I want to get my first tattoo this weekend. Hold my hand?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I have been a bad person

And not updated this frequently enough. All apologies.

I think I need to ween myself off of my coupled friends. Since this pretty much means most of my friends, it might take a while. Not that they are boring, but they tend to not be as fun as my single friends (this is true in tv reality as well as regular reality). Just look at that 'How I Met Your Mother' episode when Lily and Marshall are in their pajamas at like 11 and don't want to go out because they are tired and would have to change.
It's kind of like that. So less couples and more singles, please.

That doesn't mean I won't be friends with my friends that are couples. It just means I am going to avoid them more, I think. I mean one of them is on a cruise now!!! Who goes on a cruise other than anyone over 50?
Exactly.



I had a girl over a few weeks ago and one thing led to another etc. etc. Afterwards she asked me to help her tie the ribbon on the back of her dress into a bowtie. I said I didn't know how to make a bowtie, but I could do a shoelace. She told me I better learn to do it in case I ever have daughters. When I said 'Never!' she was like 'you're never having children?' and I said 'no' and this caused a great deal of drama, including her running out my door saying she never would have come over if she had known that.
After I calmed her down and whatnot she told me all I have in my life is my job and she feels bad for me. Then she left and IM'ed me two days later to go on another date. I said no.
How do I always find the crazies?


My friend Kristen discovered this magical world called 'Beer Island.' It is kind of like the Candy Land game has come to life, except instead of candy there is beer and instead of a board game it is all sand and instead of moving your piece you sit and drink.
Oh and did I mention there is a BBQ Island on Beer Island? Yea, it is just that mystical. We were there Friday and I can't wait to go back again one day.


I am seeing Brian Wilson this week!!! I've been a Beach Boys fan since I was 5 (when my dad had this mixtape with all their songs on it and I'd play it all the time in the car and sing along), so this is a pretty big deal for me. 20 years in the making, if you will. Can. Not. Wait.


I've been keeping to myself more than usual this summer. I think I need to end that. I'll make that part of the 'no more coupled friends' rule. Not that I am getting rid of my coupled friends - I just don't feel like pulling teeth to get them to come out, which is what it feels like sometimes.



Sunday, June 8, 2008

finally

There are certain moments in history where everyone remembers where they were when it happened/they learned about it. JFK assassination, MLK assassination, "I am not a crook," The Mets '86 World Series, and most recently (especially for my generation, 9-11. We were too young for the Berlin Wall, and contrary to popular belief, I think to anyone born after 1978 or so, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" really doesn't mean that much.
So until Tuesday, the most historical event we had was when the towers came down. I remember walking into my media class at college, and seeing it on TV around 8:45. Someone said two planes had crashed into the world trade center. We thought it meant they collided in mid-air and landed on the towers. Then we went into another room to see a demo from one of the video editing professors about this US celebration video he was working on.
Then I got home to my dorm around 11, and saw what had happened in the interim.

Newsweek had an article a couple week's back on this book that talks about how "dumb" my generation and others coming after are. How we look everything up on Google and Wikipedia, and don't remember anything. In fact, one of the main points of the book is to talk about how we don't even know why a 1960s restaurant bathroom would have a "Coloreds Only" sign, much less the meaning of the sign.
To which I can say (and left a comment affirming as much) I am proud to belong to a generation that doesn't know what it means, and maybe that's a good thing?

So now I think I'll always remember being at a Day's Inn outside Baltimore, with bulletproof glass on the lobby door and a hotel room door that looked like it may have been kicked in, watching the CNN Election Center and 'Magic Wall' and Wolf Blitzer announcing Obama would officially be the Democratic nominee.


Of course, the next day I saw a covered pick-up truck with "DEFEAT OBAMA THE SOCIALIST" written on the back window.
One step forward, six steps back.

I was told I have a man crush on Obama. It's not so much a man crush as it is admiration for someone who is finally getting the populace out to his rallies instead of watching the Tila Tequila marathon.


Monday, June 2, 2008

double bag

I like incredibly far-fetched scenarios, situations, and possibilities. For example, when we were first entering the current economic crisis, I pitched something spotlighting Church & Dwight, manufacturer of Arm & Hammer and other basic goods. Why Church & Dwight? Because they also make the Trojan condom. And I posited that if people were making less money, they would put off having children, and condom sales would improve.

These are the things I think about late at night. It made sense in my head.
Needless to say, this was rejected because I could not actually come up with any numerical data to prove this was true.
Aren't you glad to know the media is not completely based on some opinions?




I still believe this to be true, by the way.



Sunday, June 1, 2008

what do i do when my love is away

I went with a friend and some of her friends to see 'Sex and the city.' Mock me if you must.

While I am not a fan of the show, and only saw my first episode a couple nights ago, I have to say there were a couple things about the movie I liked (I did not like the movie btw).

The fact that the show/movie takes place in New York is a plus. It just made me affirm how much I love it here. Not just for the things to do -- it is completely true you wind up with a few very close friends here who will become your surrogate family. In fact, there is a group of us who get together at least once a month for 'family dinner,' so that we at least have that where we are all together at once. Contrary to what you see on the show, it is quite difficult to get six schedules to all match up with a free night.

There have been quite a few times where I (or them) have needed support after a particularly bad day, experience, week, month, etc. and they come out in full force. I am not ashamed to admit I have called people and said, "I need you now," and not in the sexual sense.
If you want to perk yourself up with a tsunami hot dog at Criff Dogs, they will be there to share your cheese fries. Sex lives are known, along with sexual history (this is fun when many of your friends have been gay at some point in their lives). Certain subjects and events will never die and always be funny (Halloween 2006, I gave them permission to tell that story to my parents), and it is just comforting to know there is help in this jungle.
And it is a jungle. This town can be incredibly lonely. It was when I first moved here. But I managed to build something out of nothing, as many others have done and continue to do. And I fully offer my support to anyone who is beginning to build, is building, or has built some sort of life here.
Because, like the man says, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Anyway, the more I watched it, the more I identified with the show. Not the plot or anything like that, just the concept of a few friends in NYC helping each other get by. Maybe I'm getting nostalgic because my four year NYC anniversary is coming up in a week, but it was really refreshing to be watching something and not envy the people on screen, because it just felt like a Hollywood version of my life.
And isn't that what we all want?

Monday, May 26, 2008

everybody get dangerous

Someone found this blog by googling "nerd persecution + examples." Should I be happy?

Sometimes I feel like blogging is a form of mental vanity masturbation. You've got all this stuff stored up and by god do you have to release it. But you don't just want to release it, you want people to read it. You wouldn't have a blog if you didn't want anyone to read it.

I had what can only be described as a fantastic weekend. Except for seeing the fourth installment of a certain movie series, everything was great. Sunday was one of the best Brooklyn days I've had in a super long time, complete with lots of walking, a nice lunch outside, annnnnnd my personal favorite, intelligent conversation. It doesn't get much better.

Except for playing WIFFLE BALL in Prospect Park yesterday evening. That was pretty great too. And having a nice dinner outside. With four gay men. Sadly the ball did not land on a group of girls that might want to play too.

Have I mentioned I bought NKOTB tickets? Because I did. I also have Petty and Brian Wilson, but I feel like the NKOTB is just going to be amazingly fun.

I am listening to the new Weezer album. How great is that video by the way!!


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

When this baby hits 88 miles an hour

You're gonna see some serious shit.

Some things are picking up, in a good way. One of the reasons I think I was sort-of spinning out of control was that I couldn't control anything, and things I could control (or thought I could) I was putting too much effort and emphasis on, making it even worse.

So now I'm on very, very slow cruise control. Trying to slow things down, from not being rushed when getting ready for work, to anything else that would just be easier and more relaxed if I cooled it.

You know, like that song.




I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep

Monday, May 19, 2008

I accidentally touched my head

and noticed that I had been bleeding


I feel better
. I figure if I put effort into the things I can control, I will come out of this alright. A lot of things I was angry about (and carrying the anger, not just letting it go) got sorted out, and I feel more than a bit better about the whole situation.
And I know I'm feeling better because I no longer feel like putting on old sad bastard music, but more music with hope.
Which is what I need right now. Hope. Bob Hope floats.






Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough. And I will believe the same about you.


Sunday, May 18, 2008

I need to learn to finish posts

Started a few days ago, just finished now because I can't go anywhere in my apartment since the cleaning service is here.
Yea, I have a cleaning service. Actually today is the first day with them. As my Mother (I wonder if she has found my blog yet?) will tell you, I haaate cleaning. And it's pretty cheap to get someone in here for a few hours to do it much thoroughly than I ever could or would, so it is worth it.


I want to pause for a moment to talk about etiquette. This is for the ladies, but fellas, maybe you can offer some input as well.
Now I know I am a full-on advocate of the lemon law in dating (5 minutes in either one of you can enact the 'lemon law', get up and leave, and feelings aren't really hurt by a 'oh I'll call you'). Unfortunately, this is a craze that has yet to catch on, so we are still stuck with awkward first dates that can just drag on.
However, I think all first dates can be narrowed into three categories:
a. tons of chemistry, definitely seeing again
b. sort of awkward, got along alright, will see again to see how it goes
c. nothing in common, have a nice life.

This does not take into variables like one party going home with the other, because that can throw things all of whack. Observe:

I went on a 'first date' a few weeks ago. We had dinner, some nice conversation, and decided to go to a bar. We both had a bit too much, and before I knew it she was inviting herself back to my place by way of "So I don't have to work tomorrow." (it was a Thursday).
I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so we were drunkenly on the sidewalk, hand out hailing a cab.
But then nothing happened. Readers of my blog (who are you anyway???), do you know who makes out and does nothing for two hours?
Middle schoolers. And me. Because even though she invited herself over, nothing was going to happen. Which is kind of like misleading the witness if you ask me. Or something to that effect.

Okay fine, I don't need to sleep with her on the first date. I'm okay with that. I go away for a few days and don't really see her. Come back for the weekend with plans everyday to hang with my friends. Saturday night I get a drunk text asking if she can come over.
Life lesson: Don't ever text someone drunk after the first date.
I explain I'm in a movie, I'll talk to her later. So I call, leave voicemail, go home, nothing happens.

Talk to her a couple days later, when I'm being evasive about the activities of my weekend (there was no hour-by-hour rundown), and she starts bringing up her ex-es. What an exciting topic!
Now, I'm not one to get jealous when someone brings up their ex-es, in fact, I think it is great when people are friends with them (just don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be, so darling, save the last dance for me). But don't bring them up to try and make me jealous. If anything it just makes me annoyed you're even attempting such crap. I don't have time for rubbish and games, and that's what it is.
So that was warning sign number two.

Contrary to popular belief, if you can't keep up with me intellectually I have no interest in you. So maybe watching primaries as a second date was a bad idea, because whoever is at my side needs to thrust, parry, parry, as well as I do. Argue with me and give me good reasons for why I'm wrong (that's hot), or agree with me but have your own reasons why I'm right. Don't be a bobble head.

So because I did not take selection 'c' after date one, I was stuck with the awkward phase out. Which I'm not really a fan of, but I just can't bring myself to say "I'm just not that into you."




Also, I'm not just a blogger, I'm a regular fortune teller. I've been meaning to bring this up, but kept forgetting to. Remember on February 10 when I said Netflix was going to be the winner? Well if you had bought the stock the next day at $26.89/share, you could have sold it a month later for $40/share.
Yeah yea, It's hovering around $31 now (still a 20% increase), but if you didn't sell at $40 you missed out...pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.


ill build an ark inside my body in a bottle and disappear

Sometimes I wish I was a turtle, and I could just hide away in my shell for the rest of 2008. Because this is a year for the record books.



Saturday, May 17, 2008

the edge of a new frontier

I just woke up, and I feel great. At first I felt something funny around my neck, but then I remembered it is some weird necklace toy light-up starfish my friends bought for my last night to wear (we went out for my birthday! this tuesday!) and it was just fun fun fun. A friend made me a TOP SECRET DISGUISE KIT complete with fake glasses (no lenses!), stick-on mustaches, vaampire OR hillbilly teeth, a fake cigar (with fake smoke!) and all sorts of goodness.
Obviously I totally love it.

THEN I had a dream where I confronted a certain someone at a bar (they were bartending??) and even though it was just a dream, I feel cleansed of the entire events.


My Mom sent me an email yesterday saying "Have fun this weekend. Don't drink too much." For some reason that's just funny.

I took off work Monday and Tuesday. Monday better be nice to go to the beach and Tuesday Wii Fit comes out! I might finally find myself exercising!


How about those West Virginia results, eh? And the people's comments about why they didn't vote for Obama?
I think you should have at least a high school education to be allowed to vote. If you are a complete moron, you should not be allowed to have a say in government. Or, as I told my friend Marc last night, maybe each of their votes should only count 3/5?
I'm okay with either plan.

The irony is West Virginia was formed by seceding from Virginia because they didn't want to be part of the CONFEDERACY. And now they won't vote for a half-black man. Jeez. If Thomas Jefferson and Strom Thurmond can give birth to them, surely you can vote for them??

Monday, May 12, 2008

halves

I tend to not finish things. I am quite good at starting projects, but finishing has never been my forte. As soon as I see things not going for the outcome I want, and do not see a way to change it, I bail. While this has not been a huge problem in my life, I do acknowledge that it has prevented me from accomplishing all that I want to. And while i can acknowledge it, for some reason I have a great difficulty doing something about it.


On that note, I wrote this when I was flying out to Texas. I don't know how to finish it, add to it, or edit it. I was reading the paper while flying out there, and something got me all riled up, so I wrote it in my notebook (I always carry a 3"x2" notebook w/ me in a pocket) and typed it up the other day.

Just remember, I was really riled up at the time from the article and everything that was going on in Texas. I debated self-censoring, but decided against it because my passionate moments are few and far between these days, and this was one.



It took all of about four years for my age group to go from Generation Y to Generation Whine. "They all want corner offices." "They want mid-level pay." "They expect a company car." The list goes on. The insults keep coming, and not many have risen to defend us.
And can you blame them? Between the baby boomers and the "Greatest Generation," our elders can be quite intimidating. They were able to take the change they sought in the 60s and become the yuppie generation, preferring to buy pollutant-heavy vehicles like SUVs and Hummers instead of more environmentally-friendly modes of transport. Their free love became STDs, and they gradually created the drugs to cure and battle these diseases. Just hope you have health insurance to get them.
They did not outgrow all of their 60s ways, though. They voted for the man they'd rather have a beer with than the one who was instrumental in funding the Internet. They clamored around "compassionate conservatism," a term that includes water boarding, a war that eats up our tax dollars, and repeals of some our most basic civil liberties.
And now my generation is going to pay to clean up this mess. They are the step sisters off at the never-ending ball, and we're Cinderella holding the mop and bucket. Except we don't have a fairy Godmother to make everything better.
This country has a national debt of over nine trillion dollars, which comes out to about $25,000 per American. And believe me, it did not come about by my generation letting our best buds Visa and Mastercard pay for everything.
And with the baby boomers nearing retirement, guess who is going to be saddled with that debt?
Was it my generation, many still paying off college loans, who took it upon themselves to obtain mortgages their incomes couldn't keep up with? Were we the ones who said, "Well, I can handle three years at 4%, and sure I can handle double that for the 27 years after!"
And $3 trillion later, many of them are thinking of sticking by a man who can't tell Sunni from Shiite, yet wants to continue paying for a war we can't afford. I know we were promised cheaper oil when we invaded Iraq, yet clearly the opposite is true. I don't think anyone reading this will be alive in 100 years, but if some have their way, we will be fighting for cheaper oil in Iraq.
John McCain needs to learn he McCan't.
Americans say they want change? My generation doesn't want change. We demand it. They are the ones who dubbed us Generation Y. I prefer to see us as Generation Why Not.
We spend our spring breaks in New Orleans and other impovershed areas, volunteering for organizations like Habitat for Humanity. We serve in the Peace Corps. We buy Priuses, and not just because Rory Gilmore had one. We volunteer our time, and donate 2 hours of our $10/hour job to a candidate who has finally managed to tap into our political indifference and ignite it into a country-wide flame. We know the resources you over-used will not last forever.



and that's where it ended because I didn't know where to take it at the time.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

It's been a crappy few months. I'm not gonna lie. I wound up having the flu for a few days, and was hallucinating on my futon. It was not pretty, and I lost ten pounds.

I used to wonder how people could lose touch with the friends they care about, and that is exactly what is happening. It's funny, some of my closest friends at school used to question my choosing to be friends with other people, but it now turns out those close friends make no effort to stay in touch, while the ones they questioned are always in touch and making sure I'm okay.
Weird how that plays out, isn't it?

I may be in DC this week. I'm actually hoping for it, because then I can see my friend Txxx and sort-of get away from here for at least a day. We had a nice talk the other day about all the crap we've been going through...it's nice to know when you're falling down, someone else is falling down too and if you lean on each other you can prop yourselves up just a bit.


And life in New York is...blah. It's not falling apart or anything, but there have been events, actions, and people over the past few weeks that have left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know. I haven't felt this crummy in a while. Not much is funny.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

when I'm 64

Every so often I hear of someone I may have "been involved with" (I'm leaving this open to interpretation) getting married, having kids, and living in the suburbs with a station wagon and minivan. This happened just now with another one.

Then I'll usually look them up on MySpace or Facebook to see what they look like (at least I'm honest about this), and when I see the photos for about two seconds I'll wonder how I avoided such a fate, and if I ever want(ed) such things.

They do seem geuinely happy. And while they are spending their Saturday mornings with their family, watching Dora with their toddlers, I'm laying in bed, hoping moving much won't trigger the after-effects of whatever I consumed last night.
And those are the nights I make it to my bed. They buy diapers, I buy alcohol. They go home Thursday night after work to relieve the sitter and watch The Office, I go home Friday morning and hope I can get a quick nap in before going to work.

I suppose on a lot of levels their lives do seem more rewarding, but I don't think I would ever want to be trapped like that. While I love this town, it is nice to know if I needed/wanted to I could throw everything on craigslist and head to parts unknown. Once you have a family, you can't do that.

I think that is why I tend to stay away from girls who want kids. Even at this age I'm screening them, because I have no desire to be held down by someone else. At least if it is just the two of you and you both want to get away, it's sayonara NYC.




I drank more at the end of last month and the beginning of this month than I ever have before. Mr. Daniels and I became very good friends pretty much every day after work. We aren't that close anymore, though.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

keep me in your heart for a while

When my brother was born, my parents asked my Dad's mother what she wanted to be called. Nana, Grandma, Gramps -- the choice was hers. She decided she was much too young (50) for any of these names, and he and all future grandchildren could call her 'G.'

Whenever I got in trouble and was mad at my parents for yelling at me, I'd tell my parents (lisp and all), "I'm going to live with G becauthe she loves me.'

I went away with her just about every summer until I was 13 or so. Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, just staying at her place on Long Island -- anything I wanted to do we would do. I was five when she asked if I wanted to go to Florida to see 'GG' (her mother), and I immediately said 'yeth,' ran off, and returned 5 minutes later with a fully packed suitcase.

Whenever she traveled to far away lands (China! Egypt! Japan! Italy!), she returned with souveniers for us, and they fascinated us. I remember being obsessed with a blue scarab she brought back for me from Egypt. It was shiny and just this incredibly bright blue. I fawned over it constantly, and kept it in my pocket for months.

We were in Montauk for a long weekend once and I found a conch (living, though I did not know it at the time) on the beach. She allowed me to take it in the car all the way home to upstate NY, where it was determined it was not a good idea for it to be away from the ocean. The smell was terrible. But for a boy who had recently read Lord of the Flies, this was golden!!

As I got older, I saw less and less of G. Whenever she visited she would come to whatever event my brother or I had going on -- track meets or graduation, she was there, and she was beaming. She loved that she was involved in our lives, and treasured all the photos she could go home with to boast about us to her friends. When I was hired at my current place of employment, she told all her friends immediately. Her grandson was working at ____ and loved it, and isn't that terrific?
It was hard to find a bigger cheerleader of my life than G.

And she was always giving -- she always asked if I ever needed anything. She would occasionally send Omaha steaks to make sure I had good meat to eat, and I never had to ask for anything. I said no many times, because I did not need many things and was doing alright supporting myself.
She loved to give, and I never truly realized the pleasure it brought her to give to myself, my brother, and my cousin until a few days ago.

G moved to Texas on her own about ten years ago. At first she was lonely, but then she began volunteering for various organizations. Ronald McDonald House, the Dallas Zoo, the botanical garden, other animal societies -- she did it all, and she loved every minute of it. She was busy from morning to night, and she loved it. I saw her calendar Saturday night, and every page of it was full. There was no stopping her from being as active as she loved.

When I left home, I still called G every few weeks to update her on my life and see how she was doing. And every time I called, she would tell my parents everything I told her, because she was that happy she knew what and how I was doing. And every story I told, she had one that not only compared, but was better. If I went to Vegas once, she was there five times. If I was going on a road trip for a week, she was traveling the midwest for two months. If I was going to Amsterdam, she had done all of Europe.

The family used to joke that G could talk a lot. She could go non-stop, story leading into tangent to another tangent back to the first story to more tangents and so on and so forth. And there was no stopping her once she got going. No way, no how. You had to wait until the entire epic was complete.

G had a heart attack last Wednesday and a friend brought her to the hospital. She called my Dad afterwards to tell him. My Mom called me Thursday to tell me, and to say they did not know exactly how severe it was or what was going on. My Mom gave me the hospital room contact info, but I could not get through and left a message on G's voicemail of her cell. I spoke to my Mom again Friday, and she said they were flying out that day and the doctor had told my Dad the family should be there. All three of G's children, and all three grandchildren were there by Saturday, and we were all in one room for the first time in about 7 years. And she loved it. And that day was great. She was grinning ear to ear when I walked in, and said 'my baby' when I walked over to her bedside to kiss her hello. With the arrival of my brother and I, the entire family was now completely in that one little room.

I would find out later that night G's condition was deteriorating, and she was not out of the woods yet. The best we could do was hope, and for those of us with the inclination, to pray.

Most of the family was by her side the next day when it finally happened. I don't know many people who have a heart attack that kills 20% of the heart and then live another four days, but G is one of them. She was not going to leave us without having the entire family together one last time, and she was determined to get what she wanted. The epic of her life was not complete, and there was no way anyone was writing that last page other than her.






To G, who lived more in 77 years than anyone I will ever know.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

this was started Sunday, so it is a bit old in the beginning

I am proud to live in a country that can blatantly violate the terms of the Geneva Convention. If there is one thing this administration will be remembered for, it is
oh who am I kidding, this administration will be remembered for tons of things!! I was telling a friend Saturday if I ever have kids, I want to read their history textbook to see what viewed perspective of the Bush administration they give.

The best thing to happen for the Dems in this election is for Bush to campaign with McCain. More.of.the.same.
Of Course, Hellary is doing her best to make sure Obama doesn't get elected

Ok so after writing all that we all know what happened with Spitzer blah blah ok over it. On the same day 7 more soldiers were killed in Iraq and the day before the President refused to outlaw torture. Sex scandals > Human Lives






My hoodie hasn't been washed yet and still smells...

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Han shot first

Cosmo Magazine has a whole section on the best places to meet a guy (I was directed to this section by another blog, I don't regularly read Cosmo). Number 1 on the list? An Apple Store.
Sayeth Cosmo: "
Most guys are natural gadget lovers, and with sales of iPods and MacBooks skyrocketing, more men than ever are stopping by Apple boutiques. The vibe at the stores is conducive to man meeting too: You can check your email among cuties, take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting (a great opportunity to strike up a conversation), or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise."

Sure it's not a sci-fi convention or comic-con or anything like that, but talk about the geeks inheriting the Earth. Although it's all fake-geek, not Freaks n Geeks geek.
Not that I'm headed straight for the Apple store, but goddamn. I never thought I'd ever see the day when one of the number 1 women's magazines was telling them to head to geek central and land a man.



Maybe I should plant myself into various video classes so I can "help them."

Saturday, March 1, 2008

if there's a housing crisis in the n anymore

the tent so big in your pants baby
I would gladly share the tent in my pants with Peaches, but I would prefer her ex-roommate Feist.


Our President will now exit office after having presided over one of the biggest financial tumbles in recent US history. There is definitely more damage to come, and there is no silver lining in sight.


I have finally purchased a receiver (and speakers), which means I no longer have to connect my record player to a guitar amp. Although I don't know how Metal Machine Music is going to sound in surround sound. I am excited to find out, though.
Although setting up the receiver has been a bit difficult, what with all the different connections I have going on. And considering what I do, this should not be a problem for me.

I want to go to a good old fashioned rock 'n roll show. Not the standard NYC everyone stands around, arms crossed. I want to go see Of Montreal for the 11th or 12th time and dance dance the night away. Or to a Flogging Molly show and dance/skank. Say what you will about that band, their fans love to get-down.

Durex did a survey and found Americans rank behind Canadians and Brits when it comes to frequency of sex.
Dear America,
This is one thing we should at least try and be best at. Our economy is tanking, the dollar is worth less and less every day, at least let's show the world we may not give a fuck, but we do love to fuck.
I still don't understand this country's awkwardness when it comes to sex, and I grew up here! I mean, yeah I get a little shy when shopping in certain stores, but at least I am open-to-new-things.
I am (and most people I know are) in the best of moods when getting laid on a regular basis. Plus its good exercise.

Like today, I thought about joining a gym. I didn't, but at least I thought about it. If I was having more regular sex, the thought would not have even crossed my mind.


I want to write a book about the economy of sex. I could go on Oprah and hawk it.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

57 channels (and nothing's on)

There is a certain story making its way around the Internet/blog-o-sphere/digg/slashdot that has made me think a little more before writing some things. If you follow the news like I do and know where I work, you know the story I refer to.
That said, I am not going to comment on it.

This gives me hope:
Students walk 7 miles to vote.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Public Service Announcement

In a previous post, I mentioned bacterial vaginosis, and that I would touch upon it at a later date. Today is that date.

I am going to try to keep this simple and to the point.

I did not know what bacterial vaginosis (hereafter to be called BV) was until I was lamenting to a friend about some recent sexual (or non-sexual, to be more precise) relations I had. You see, I was all set to (insert title of famous Petula Clark song here), when BAM! my nose was knocked backwards by, well, pretty much the worst thing I've ever sniffed. I lost all desire to have sex right then and there. I had to make up some lame excuse and we didn't do anything. It was TERRIBLE! The entire night I was mad that she was getting her stink all over my clean sheets. That's how bad it was.
Buuuuuut I thought maybe it was a one-time thing, and so she came over again a couple weeks later. Still.the.same.
It was like a carton of rotten milk combined with one of those smells-like-smoke scratch 'n sniff stickers you get on fire safety day in second grade.
So again, there was no sex. At this point I look:
a. impotent
b. gay
c. all of the above

ANYWAY, when I complained to two lesbian friends about this (that's how I roll), one mentioned that it was probably BV, which I had never heard of. And after learning what it was, I determined this is what the girl had.
I don't know if my diagnosis is correct, but I did not have the heart to tell her she should get it checked out. I'm sorry. There are just some things I can't do. Telling a girl to get her BV checked is one of them.

So ladies, the moral of the story is this: If your fella is completely put-off by your clamshell, you might wanna think about polishing that pearl.

News Views Use

While this blog is merely months old, I have been blogging since August of 2001. That blog exists as a livejournal that is never updated, and never updated is how it shall remain. I think 6+ years of the same journal is enough. That one contains 3/4 of my collegiate career, and the years that came after. This one is much less personal (read: no teenage angst).

I'm starting to realize I pay too much attention to the news. I almost never watch it, but I am constantly reading it online. My homepage on Firefox consists of RSS feeds from NYTimes, Time, Newsweek, Salon, Alternet, The Economist, Slashdot, NPR, Reuters, Wired, Digg, and CNN. And I check it all.the.time. I can't watch the news on tv because it does not show the stories I want to know about when I want to know about them.
TV news is just not for me. I don't care what Pundit X thinks, and I know for a fact Analyst Y is an idiot.

Anyway, my obsession with the news can lead to some social problems (as if I didn't have enough already). I can make for REALLY boring dinner conversation, especially if the person(s) has/have no knowledge whatsoever of the world outside their window. Which does not happen often with the people I choose to spend my spare time with, but it did happen recently to the point that I was flabbergasted when I had to explain the presidential primary process to someone.
A person who was born and raised here has no idea how our electoral process works. That's terrible!! I know I love to rip on this country and the state it has gotten itself into, but I LOVE the idea of America. The one in the Constitution. The Bill of Rights is still the single greatest work of non-fiction ever written (the Bible does not count because, like I said, non-fiction).
I don't understand how an educated person can live here and not know how their leaders are elected or the goverment process works. Which explains a lot about how the current administration came to be.




I do not know what my liberties are; therefore, I will not notice when they are taken away.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

TV is back! TV is back!

Well, not quite yet. But the Writers' Strike looks to be over, so (very) slowly there might be some new writing on the television.
First impacted will be Conan/Daily Show/those shows, then SNL, and then the other comedies/dramas, but since production can take 2-4 months, we might not see new shows until April. Just in time for sweeps in May? A quick 5-episode count to wrap up various seasons?

I think both the studios and writers lost. People realized they have so many more alternatives now than they did during the strike of '88. You know who won? The Internet. iTunes. Netflix. DVR companies.
My Netflix usage tripled during the strike, and I'm still finding more shows and movies to add to my queue. Why bother finding new shows to watch when there are so many old ones to catch up on? The Rock and Roll Grammarian (who I would link to but I don't feel like typing the html, see link on right) introduced me to the wonder that is Battlestar Galactica, and I love it! It appeals so much to my inner/outer geek!

Speaking of geek, I am getting press access for NY Toy Fair AND NY Comic Con!!! It's a dream come true for any 14 year old/me!!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Dear Barack Obama,

While I am still not sure if I want to vote for you, my generation views you as an agent of change. You are not a Clinton, and you have not been in Washington your entire life.
You've managed to take a lot of youth disenfranchised with the electoral process (for many of us, 2000 was the first time we could vote) and made them enthusiastic about choosing a new leader.
That is why you can not listen to Howard Dean and make a Democratic Dynamic Duo of you and Hillary. I beg of you. There's no way they will let you be President, you will have to settle for VP. Please don't tarnish your image like that. Some Republicans actually like you, they all hate her. With her on the ticket those moderates you have won over (you know, the non-super Christian Republicans) will immediately not vote for you. They hate her. To them, she is enemy #1. There is nothing they hate more.


Also, her hair is always unchanged. I am convinced it comes off and is re-applied a la Darth Vader's helmet in Return of the Jedi.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Super Duper Tuesday!

Here is proof that John McCain is crazy, from his rally in NYC today:

"We're gonna win New York today and we're gonna win New York in the general election and I'm gonna carry New York and we're going to campaign all over this magnificent state and we're not gonna give it up to anybody. I guarantee you as the nominee of my party I can and will carry the city of New York as well as the state!"





Thursday, January 31, 2008

This is America

Every morning, I get out of the subway at the same stop. There are two ways to exit the station. One is the very wide stairwell that can easily accomadate four people or more in a row at a time, and the other is the narrow escalator, which accomodates about one person at a time.
I will give you one guess which one there is a LINE for every morning. Because, you know, walking up a flight of stairs is so unhealthy.

I was sad to see Edwards drop out of the race this afternoon. While not my primary choice, I was hoping he would hold out to split the Democratic vote a little more, then give his delegates to Obama.
Because I just don't want a President Hillary. Barack isn't so great either, but he is the lesser evil. I'm seeing an Obama-Edwards ticket.
I just wish Ron Paul could be taken seriously. Maybe he and Mayor Mike will run together?

What I want to know is, will the Republican nominee let Bush I or II campaign for them? Gore didn't really want Clinton's backing in '00, and it didn't work out so well for him. But Clinton left office with an approval rating higher than the 30% Dubya's got. What if they allow Sr. to campaign but not Jr.? Or will they be trying to distance themselves from the Bush dynasty?
Also, will Bill campaign for Obama if he is the nominee? Without Barack and Bill, are there any other celeb Dems to get the voters all pumped and excited like Rocky?

Also, today on Larry King Snoop Dogg said he likes both Hilary and Barack. It's nice to know he's got their back.




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Oh, sorry. I was hired to write an episode of Lost.

Monday, January 14, 2008

blah blah blog

I like sitting behind the jalopnik.com / gawker media peolpe (all 8? or more? of them) at the auto show in Detroit and see them digg their own stuff up.


Monday, January 7, 2008

i did not inale

This election has been going on for way too long, and it needs to end. Some of the campaigns are over a year old, and we still have a ways to go...completely unacceptable.

Someone on Slate or Newsweek or somewhere wrote an article about some guy who came up with the idea of using some sort of algorithmic formula to elect a president, rather than the current, completely out-of-date and useless electoral college.
Their idea was to mirror the idea of a site like hotornot.com, where you rate your three top picks, and give them a grade of 1-5 on how much you want them to be President. For example, in my case I would give Ron Paul a 5, and Barack and Edwards a 2 or 3. Each candidates points are then added up, and the one with the most wins. Although, theoretically, with 10 candidates in the race there is the potential the winner might only wind up with 12% of the votes, while the others all fall a little under 10%. So instead you can take the top 4 candidates and do it again, and then that winner takes all.
Makes sense to me. Then you don't have any more incidents like what happened in 2000...


Also, I don't care who you are. You do not cry on the campaign trail because it is a "hard journey to the White House." There's no crying in baseball!the road to the White House. What happens when you are actually in office? Are you going to cry under the pressure from that too?